Clearly, the pressure of a fully immersive CJ is too much for me. But here's a quick catch-up on our game and the current state of affairs. Our own one-line recaps are in bold.
8/2: Takes out a tower of orcs and a swine daemon at the command of the necromancer who's been yanking their strings. With the berserker restored, the party's necromancer "enters the shadows." Back to town for serious drunken debauchery. Level 2 is obtained by most.
"We win? And no one died! Mathematically, at least. Drunken debauchery is almost as much fun as wiping out a town for a necromancer."
8/30: To the Black Fief! On the way, the temple of the daemon speakers reveals that with enough panic and unconsciousness, a party of lvl. 1 characters with one magic item can take out a mummy! These sheep-women are kind of hot but also rude. When the party finds a labyrinth made out of eye fungus, there's much argument about who should walk it until Audgisl gets fed up and does so. He is rewarded with a daemon. They send the daemon after the necromancer, who is killed. Then, in order to make sure the daemon doesn't come after them later, they release it early to "play." Horrible consequences are assumed.
"You walk the fungus-eye labyrinth because you *rolled lowest*! What's so complicated? Now, do I get XP for everyone my daemon kills, or just the evil ones? Think about it, Mike."
9/13: Acting on the daemon's advice that the nearby sunken swamp contains great treasure, they investigate. Swamp lotuses are fun. Swamp zombies less so. The wrecked paddle-wheel steamer *looked* fun until the entire party was wiped out by giant ticks. Well, almost the entire party. Barita the Pict monk managed to haul the unconscious Shazuregon Qaan, Hyperborean magician, out of the fray and slam the door on the ticks. Unfortunately, Barita had been bitten by the swamp zombies and was, it turns out, already quite dead. As was Shazuregon after Barita ate him. RIP, everyone. New characters are rolled up on the spot, and the action shifted to Felchapel in Brigands Bay and the dungeon Kihago nearby. A berserker and a legerdemainist die almost instantly by (detected, easily avoidable) ambush and giant-stone-worm eggs laid in the brain. That one's hard to avoid.
"Team Murderhobo falls to suck monsters but gets right back on that talking blue cow. J keeps opening doors, to his sorrow. RIP, everyone. Also, J again. And, it looks like, Ross again. But this Esquimeaux is hot!"
10/11: Back to the dungeon. Alliance with the mumbling mutant tribesmen. Enmity with the cult of the Luminites, which is fine, since they often have laser pistols once can claim after killing them. However, the party retreats with losses from the Luminites' HQ.
"Manny guest-stars, dies in a cupboard kerfuffle. Comes back bigger, badder, and ready for more."
11/1: We're getting good at this TPK thing! Daylight proves deadly in the Prison of the Hated Pretender. Also, splitting up the party and running directly into the monster-generating pit is of dubious tactical use.
"Deadly daylight! Escaping deeper into the giant head does not seem to help. We are going to need more first-level FBI guys."
11/8: Back on the horse! In this case, the horse is a mine where everyone has gone crazy because of a rock and a village of zombie farmers. As with many things, this was a paladin's fault. Still, the party kind of impresses the Reavers who run the town's muscle. They even manage to make friends with an NPC before cutting off his head for advanced zombie reasons.
"Missing mines and zombie dirt grubbers. RIP, Donal. You were getting too old for this sh*t. Also, too zombie."
At this point, a roster is useful:
--Solon Eurybial: Atlantean magician. Spider familiar that lives in mouth. LE
--Fearghes MacRoss: Kelt shaman. Giant white elk totem. N
--Kilburn: Pict fighter. N.
--Qannmorr Zanntes: Common thief. CE.
--Eutropia: Steppe Kimmerian ranger. N. (Her identical cousin was killed by the Luminite chief)
--Bodicca: Pict witch. CG
--Graziela: Amazon cleric. CG
--Eydis the Viking Berserker! Apparently, she ended up in Felchapel at some point. She comes and goes. Always with long swords.
11/22: Acting on advice from some local drunks, the party decides to cure Qannmor of his crazy-rock problem by entering a ring of mechanical mushrooms. The transports them to a space-pixie station among the stars. They end up having to summon a tribe of old-Earth Eskimos and sacrificing them in order to make it back. One of them is so impressed, he signs on as a henchman. They manage to bring back a miniature golden city. Several days of illegal smelting operation later, they have portable wealth and the deep suspicion of the Reavers.
"Words can hurt, you dead space fairy. Not *your* words, but words. The illegal gold-smelting operation costs Eydis her mule deposit but gets her laid."
12/13: Sent to find out what happened to a missing Viking ship. Find some strange objects, follow tracks. Turns out an immortal ice witch is collecting man slaves. While camping between forays into her ice caves, a mountain ape smashes Graziela's head open. These things happen.
"I think the best way is if I cast sleep and *then* you shoot them. I'll just make myself a camp bed of the cleric's spinal fluid."
12/20: Ice witches are tough! Solon abandons everyone to their fate. These things happen. Then he leads a rescue party back to get them because Lt. Reaverson really wants the Viking who was on the ship. Rescues are effected. Solon's spider familiar agrees he's the hero. Second level becomes more than just a fond dream!
"A rescue operation can't succeed unless you abandon everyone first! Also, dibs on the magic items. Second level, watch out!"
1/10: Back to the dungeon! This time, many Shubs and Zulls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar! That is, the Luminites are wiped out, as far as anyone can tell. They try to replenish their numbers through some kind of cloning tubes. The party uses these to make a new war dog, which ends in war dog on war dog tragedy and some serious emotional trauma. Solon's attempt to clone his gold results in serious physical trauma when the clone tube blows up. They manage to destroy six med robots in order to cut the hand off Lt. Uhuru so they can use it to get through a strange door. The tomb complex on the other side has some weird straw-metal-flesh creatures that are nonetheless susceptible to sleep spells.
"One dog enters. Two dogs leave. RIP, Nudog and Dunog. Also, we figured out why the clones had those cloning machines--earwigs!"
1/24: Turns out this part of the dungeon is an ancient temple of Rel and his saints. With some sort of bizarre cult of nonhuman jerks in it. They call themselves the Foolish Consistency and attempt to eat little brains. Party all make their saves against allusion. Kilburne's brain is eaten. The Foolish Consistency finally goes down, though, and the party takes their name, with some alterations! Also, magic items! A lucky hat and a golden armband of henchmen getting! The unthinkable happens when Qannmor and Eutropia make level 3 and Qanmorr gets a priest of Rel hanchman--Pandar Er (3 INT, 15 WIS).
"The last cult we killed was crazy! What's stronger than the Foolosh Consistency? The Foolish Inconsistencies, jerks. Nice hat, Qanmorr. RIP, Kilburne."
Which brings us current.